Race Report: Tough Mudder (Feb)

First things, first:  Fab5 (ok, Shirtless Josh) called me out on my lack of blogging.  I apologize.  Writer's block.  Lack of inspiration.  Truth is:  I wanted to do the same races I love.  Well and, there are races I'm fine skipping.  Which leaves fewer races to write about and critic, that would be consider "new" to this blog ... well, because not many of those have a beer garden.

So, when... in my last entry, I said I was going to do all these races, I realized: well, hm, we shall see.

I skipped Irvine Half.  I wasn't interested.  But truthfully it's not because of the race/course itself.  No, it was because I was on a "break". 

I did do Surf City and I'm proud to say both Fab5 and The Ladies got to hang (although no Boat Racing occurred- to their dismay) in the Beer Garden.  Also, we managed to get more than the two free beers offered.  (I'm not allowed to share our secret without blowing our cover)

So, here we are today:  The Tough Mudder.

Let's discuss: 
Tough Mudder was supposed to be a Fab5 group effort, agreed to after 2-3 mimosas at Ramos Cafe.  Yes, we had been drinking.  Yes, we were all talk.  Yes, we were missing one of the five members... but, regardless we all decided this was a Race we couldn't miss.  And, we'd do it in costume:  The Fisherman as Little Bo Peep and the rest of us as his sheep.

After a few months went by, we came to realize two things:

1. This was a legit Race
2. We can't wear costumes or we might light on fire

Just weeks before the Race, we finally got all 5 of the Fab5 committed to the Race (Event Whore wins with the most excuses - even going to the extreme by losing his wallet in an attempt to avoid The Tough Mudder).

At first, I was excited.  I thought this would be close to an Adventure Race.  Then, I started chatting with people who either had done the Race, or knew about it.  I started to wonder if The Fisherman... living up to his nickname, lured us in.  But then again, he looked a little nervous too.

Let's say this: 
Tough Mudder has Electric Shocks, Ice Baths, 15' drops and fire (outside of CA b/c of fire season).  People post YouTube videos, as bragging rights (serious, look up "Tough Mudder Electric Shock" on YouTube).  Not to mention, there's always blood and not everyone finishes the Race.  BUT... there was a Beer Garden.  And there's the rub...

So, 4am my alarm goes off.  5am I'm at Event Whore's House meeting Shirtless Josh.  5:30am the Fab5 (minus Helmet - with a family priority) head down to Temecula to get electrocuted, scraped up and dirty... just so we can have a Beer.

It's important I start with this: 
We owe a huge thanks to PJ for giving us the inside scoop on the Race!  No, seriously, we do!  And we owe him a six pack of Beer.

And now, I go back to the report:
After "signing our Death Waiver", tagging ourselves on the forehead with our number (actually, only Event Whore and Shirtless Josh fell for that one) and checking our bags.... we headed over to the Start Line.  I can say this:  I've NEVER had to climb a 6' wall in order to "start" a Race before!  Unbelievable!  Just as a point of entry.  It was awesome!

Over the wall (no assistance, mind you... but it will be my last), we knell down to honor the wounded/disabled soldiers.  In all seriousness, it was a wonderful reminder of why we were there:  Tough Mudder supports wounded soldiers who fought for our freedom.

The MC was awesome.  Provoking us.  Mocking us.  Reminding us of those who gave so much.  "Can I get a Hoo-Ya!?"  Yes, I was crushin'.

Off we go: 
The Tough Mudder is a 9-12 Mile Trail Run depending on where you Race.  Our Race in Temecula was just off Lake Vail and meant the course would be a challenging 11 Mile Trail Run.  After giving a high five to our MC, the Fab5 pushed off.  Not more than two minutes in we hear a thud:  The first causality of the Race.  A guy, like a bat out of hell, decided to charge through the thick mud and ended up face first in the heavy soot... by what I imagine was his loss of balance and/or shoe.  And so began the giggles from The Fab5.

Obstacle #1: An Approx 12' wall.  Let me remind you.  I have NO UPPER BODY STRENGTH.  I had warned The Fab5.  So their answer to my weakness was to pyramid climb, hoist and/or (literally) shove my ass over that wall.  It worked.  And I was mortified. 

Off we go giggling away at any mishap on our team, or at the expense of others... tummy crawling under barbed wire, hurdling open trenches, scaling spider webs... and, those were the "easy" obstacles.  I won't bore you with the details that, possibly only Fab5 find funny, but I will highlight a few.... let's just say, we ran 11 Miles on a challenging trail and crossed approx 15 obstacles ranging from Electric Shock to Swimming a short creek. 

Below are some highlights:

• To our benefit our group has either completed an Ironman or is training for one.  This helped for the 11 Mile Trail Run, but we didn't want anyone to know our "true identity" and were happy none of us had Ironman apparel on.... for fear they'd be disappointed in our performance.
• Our continued thanks (no, seriously) and comments to PJ for giving us such wonderful advice.  We cruised right along obstacle to obstacle. 
• Electric Shock sucks
• Yes, some of the obstacles are scary
• Like the 15' drop into muddy water, when you scream the whole way down and can't see which way is up while you are underwater... wondering if you'll make it up for a breath in time
• The Marines are pretty awesome throughout the course...
• Cuz the either laugh at your expense or harass you til you fall in the water (note to self: don't ever taunt a Marine again!  I paid for it)
• The Ice Bath sucks
• But, it's really fun to go back to watch the Ice Bath when you've completed the Race, have a Beer in your hand and hackle the folks still on the course going into it!
• Shirtless Josh was determined to cross the Inverted Monkey Bars and went through them twice, earning the respect of the Marines (the rest of use just didn't make it halfway and had to swam across the mote)
• After overhearing, "She's #3", Puma's (my nickname) competitive edge came to surface and we passed the "third and second placed girls"... I have "quotes" for a reason.  They were not the "third" and "second" placed girls or maybe there were a lot of those out on the course. 
• The Adult Slip-n-Slide is not that fun when they shoot a fire hose at your face.  It feels like someone punched you in the face
• We couldn't understand why, as Ironmen, we could swim 2.4 miles but in The Tough Mudder duck diving under barrels in the lake wiped us out
• Event Whore didn't fall once
• Electric Shock cables that are 5-6' long suck even more
• Watching Shirtless Josh barrel through the last obstacle, only to get leveled to the point of blacking out by The Electric Shock cables on the last hay barrel... scared the s**t out of the rest of us
• I wanted to cry.
• After several conversations with myself, a spectator interrupted and told me, "Just run really fast, it won't hurt."  To which, I asked (knowingly), "WHY?  Have you done it??!!?"  (No) "Then SHUT UP!", was my reply.
• Ten minutes later, I ran for it.  1 millisecond later I was over the second hay barrel and shocked to my knees, scraping my elbows.  Another millisecond, I tummy crawled to the edge of the Electric Shock cables.  Proudly/Cockily displaying my pleasure of making it through by smiling slyly at everyone...
• Only to be leveled, face first in the mud by an Electric Live Wire that swung forward and caught my buttock.  No lie.  Shirtless Josh had to drag me out.
• The Fisherman brought up the rear, shocked to the ground as well... and the group held hands and cross the finish line together so we could grab our Beer.

Here's the thing.  I'd do it again in a heartbeat.  I felt like a 10 year old playing hard and getting dirty.... The Race was SO well organized.  They were prepared for anything.  At the 15' drop into water they had lifeguards ready to jump in with their wetsuits.  Medic tents were commonly found throughout the course.  And the Beer was great!  :)

At the end of the day, Event Whore did end up with a dislocated rib and had an allergic reaction to something (think Hitch).  We were sore for a few days, and I left for a beach vacation with scabbed up elbows and knees. 

I gave away my orange headband, but can say the memories of this crazy Race inspired me enough to break my writer's block.  And for that, I say to you... I'm sorry.

Til next time.  Hoo ya!