18 Miler: night before

It's the Eve of my 18 miler.  Historically this Training Run hasn't been nice to me. I've almost always bombed.  So you can imagine my nerves.

I tried to eat right today. But a "going away" cupcake called my name.  Also, I may, or may not have convinced myself that Pirates Booty was a good carbohydrate choice for dinner. 

I've committed to no wine (or alcohol, for that matter) tonight.  I did this for my "crash and burn" 16 Miler two weeks ago and my friends claim that's the reason for my poor Run.  Even though that's a solid argument, I remain wine-free tonight. 

In the 16 Miler I lacked leg endurance and leg strength. Sure I went out too fast, but that's just part of the story.  

I'm afraid the real concern I have is with my head.  I took a hiatus over the summer.  Tomorrow's Run is about making a comeback.  Running has been a part of me since 1999.  It's been my identity and my obsession.  I lacked confidence and I felt slightly depressed over the summer when I let Running slip away.  I'm over being that person.  I'm ready to push my nerves away and focus on the journey to be the "Runner" I used to be proud to be.  

So, here's to hoping and wishing that tomorrow's Run goes well.  That my stomach cooperates.  To rebuilding my endurance.  And getting my Running Legs back.  But mostly to being a confident Runner again.  

Don't worry Mom, you got this.